What a week...

I'm becoming more convinced that my current occupation is not what I want to do when I grow up. It's not that I'm not smart enough to do it. At least, I'm going to keep telling myself that so I don't UTTERLY give up hope that I might someday understand what it is I'm supposed to be doing. It just doesn't make me happy. What's been saving my sanity is going home. I haven't been arting, I haven't been crafting, I haven't done much of anything productive. Utter honesty? I haven't done a bloody thing that's been productive this week. No laundry. No art. No crafting. No cleaning. Part of it is a bit of depression. The meds haven't quite got that under control despite the month-long trial I've given them, so there may be more of those in my future to add to the daily regimen. I did do some writing. I mended a pocket on my sweater that mostly took, so that's okay. I lost a few pounds through just not really eating during the day. What I have done this week is played on my computer, dinked around on Facebook, and even took a two hour nap today. In my defense, with a combination sinus/lack of caffeine for the day headache, I REALLY and truly needed that nap. Not that it did any good, mind you. I actually had to caffinate, eat, and take something for said headache. But it was great to have the luxury to take a nap and not feel put upon to clean (and get grouchy about _that_) before the gamers got here tonight. Next week, with the income tax refund, I'll be buying a vacuum cleaner and actually doing something about my house. Definitely some arting. And hoping for a much better work week. Or an offer of a new job. I'd be okay with that too.

February 12 , 2012

This was my poor, neglected blog that I wrote in when the mood took me, and I ended up resenting because it felt like more of a chore than a joyful thing. Came to the realization that I was trying to pigeonhole my creativity. One part of me for writing. One part for drawing. One part for the things I had to do but didn't want to. It took a while to realize that it was all me, and all worth exploring in print.

To make it a little easier, I deleted everything and started over. New profile, new picture, none of the sad old stuff that was hanging on and making me unhappy. I realize unhappy is a part of life too, but there's no need to hang onto it after it's done, right?

So, who am I? Those who're reading these words probably have a fairly decent idea. I'm Pyxidragon in my online life. I'm a little artistic, sometimes silly, not always the most articulate in her ideas. I bake, I smile, I have days when I just want to curl into a lump and bawl.

Today's creative endeavors include poor man's humbows (lunchmeat shoved into leftover dough pockets and baked), bread bowls, and Valentine's cards for my sister and child. The hubby's card (thankfully) has been done for weeks now.

Until next time.